4/10
The following entry was written prior to receiving news that Becca’s dad will need cardiac bypass surgery, and thus no longer contains updated information. It seems that in the end, John should be okay- perhaps even better- but Becca and I will be leaving Cuenca to be with her family in Sacramento during this stressful time. I am currently writing this prescript in Miami International Airport during an extensive layover. This marks an end to the Cuenca Chronicles, and the proceeding will be the final one written through an Ecuadorian lens.

After nearly 6 months in Cuenca, we have decided that our time here has run its course. On April 29th, we will pack up our minimal baggage and begin our northward expedition. Our current plan is to arrive in Cartagena, Colombia by May 1st, where we have organized a volunteer experience that will likely last two weeks. From there, we hope to make our way up to Panama and then Costa Rica, where we have booked a flight returning to New York in June. There is some sadness associated with this decision to return to the U.S. a couple of months ahead of schedule, and perhaps also a dent in pride.

The truth is things have been hard here. While Becca has been feeling especially unfulfilled lately, I, too, can connect with this feeling. It has been a struggle to find interesting projects that foster a sense of purpose. The comforts of home have also been sorely missed- family, friends, and like-minded community being the primary ones. Secondarily, there are things like easily accessible nature and good food, which have been elusive here. Is this disappointment merely a product of unreasonably high expectations and inflexibility? Maybe, but the feelings still seem to persist. As much as this experience has been expansive, it has also been a humbling reminder of the difficulty in adjusting to a new external reality, as well as the challenges that come when some hopes and expectations are not met. It is likely that these themes would have emerged in any environment, and perhaps the barriers to a deeper sense of fulfillment are more internal, more limited by the viewer. I am open to this idea.

So we begin the process of saying good-bye to our life here in Cuenca. While there is a certain readiness to leave, there is also some loss associated with the departure. I love our neighbors who run a liquor store out of their home, and I’ll miss chatting with them over the purchase of an Ecuadorian beer. I like that I kiss my dentist Paula “hello.” Becca and I will have difficulty leaving our Columbian friends and their adorable children who stop by our apartment constantly without calling. I could not have imagined a better atmosphere in which to learn Spanish, and I will have fond memories of my teacher and our afternoons together. I’ll miss my basketball community and being one of the taller people on the court, as well as consuming a three-course lunch for a dollar fifty. But most of all, I will miss feeling connected to a culture so totally different from my own, even if it drives me crazy every now and then.

4/22

I’m still in Miami, and because the book I’m reading hurts my brain and I do not want to pay for a one day Wi Fi pass, I have some extra time on my hands to write. Becca left a few days earlier and has been in Sacramento for three days. I stayed behind in Cuenca to finish up some loose ends, including the process of finishing a dental procedure. If you ever crack a front tooth in half, do it in Ecuador, where a crown costs only $150 as opposed to over a thousand.

John is most likely going in for surgery within the next few days, and currently he and the family are in an anxious waiting state. A relatively routine check-up revealed some cardiac abnormalities, and then a catheterization showed severe coronary artery obstruction. The cardiologist was reportedly shocked that John had not suffered a heart attack because of the extent of the damage. So for now, though there is a sense of fear, luck and gratitude seem to be the prevailing emotions. Becca’s dad, though warm and emotionally expressive in certain ways, is not one to voice his needs to his children. So when he gently asked Becca if she would come home to be there during the surgery and recovery, any dilemma about staying in Latin America was quickly erased. Hopefully, the next entry will contain news of a successful operation, and feel free to contact Becca for any updates.

People in the U.S. look really big and strong. There are a lot of white men in bright colored shirts with well defined arms here in Miami, and the women seem to be approximately double the height of the Indigenous women in Ecuador. I just had a bagel for the first time in months, and it wasn’t great, but it was delicious. It’s been a long trip to this point after first boarding a bus in Cuenca en route to Quito, a formidable trip of 10 hours on windy roads in the Ecuadorian Andes. Due to the power of negative reinforcement, I prudently took a maximum dose of Dramamine, and vomited 0 times. I have an embarrassing amount of luggage for one person, and trapped myself in a revolving door in the Cuenca bus station. For thirty seconds, I was stuck in a small barred-in area and required several locals to push me through. It wasn’t the worst moment of my trip, but it wasn’t great. I am looking forward to being grounded within the next 11 or so hours, and I think the comfort of the Rice family home in the peaceful, tree-filled suburbs of Sacramento will be a good place to start reflecting on these past 6 months.