ut of the house, I’m going to a hotel tonight.”This was my wife, Rebecca Jenny Rice-Brensilver’s, subtle expression of her needs last night after finding a freakishly huge spider in our bedroom. I’m not an arachnophobe, but this creature was at least two or three times the size of any spider I have seen in my life. Fortunately, for storytelling’s sake, Becca is deathly afraid of spiders. When I first heard the terrifying scream come from the bedroom, my mind jumped quickly to two images: a live pervert in our bedroom or a giant rat. To her credit, it was quite a scary image, and Becca also has reason to doubt my abilities as a pest-catcher. Perhaps because of my overly-developed superego or my brother being a Buddhist teacher, I do not opt to kill the likes of spiders. I also have poor fine motor skills and typically drop the creature in a place that is impossible to retrieve.
This time, however, I harnessed all my concentration and was able to successfully capture the spider in a Tupperware that Becca threw at me. After snapping a couple of pictures for evidence (see below), I proceeded to bring the spider outside with the hopes of releasing it in a nearby bush. This did not, unfortunately, provide adequate reassurance to Becca, who insisted we/I show the spider to somebody to verify that it was not poisonous. Of course, my wife reasoned, there could be baby spiders in our sheets.
While I waited on the curb, Becca banged on our neighbor’s door (it was approximately 10 PM on a Monday), and an innocent Latino family emerged to find two gringos, one guarding a spider in a kitchen container, and the other pacing around trying to soothe herself by exclaiming “I am bigger than the spider. It's not going to hurt me” The family of four was remarkably sweet and reassuring, and insisted on Becca coming inside for some “calming/ tranquilizing” tea.
Becca, the superior photographer, was not sufficiently composed to grab the camera, so you will have to settle for my picture.
Of course Becca is not the only one who has had some undignified moments of late. While my grasp of Spanish is steadily improving, there have been numerous stumbling blocks along the way. There are many occasions that the meaning of my words has little to do with my intention. I could make a list of several, but I’ll just share my recent favorite that surfaced in a discussion with a female friend.
Intended Comment: Maru, I am really looking forward to going to the coast for New Year’s together.
Literal Translation: Maru, I am feeling sexually aroused to be going away to the coast with you and your family.
Seriously, this photo does NOT even BEGIN to capture the size of the spider. It was HUGE.
ReplyDeletePlease, still come visit.
Big spiders are Elisa's favorite. The bigger the better ; ) It was great talking to you guys the other day. How was your trip along the coast? Perhaps we can get a Skype call in sometime this evening or tomorrow morning? We'll stay signed-in to Skype.
ReplyDeleteOh...by the way, your blog is awesome. Y'all should write a book. I'd buy it for sure.
Happy Nuevo Anio! Peace.
Oh my God! I've seen those gigantic ones! I can't believe Greg actually went near it and had steady-enough hands to capture it in a tupperware! I love that Becca chose pacing and self-talk to manage the anxiety. I would have been tempted to move out if it weren't captured. Here's hoping that was the first and last encounter with such a creature! Was it poisonous?
ReplyDeleteGreg...your translation is HILARIOUS! I remember learning "excitada" and "emocionada" and remaining staunchly conscious of the difference between the two words.
I dunno, Greg. Sounds like a Freudian slip to me.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
Charlito, I never approached it from that angle, but that's very astute.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you, too...wishing you a peaceful 2010.
Happy New Year, Rebalas!! This post reminds me of a little box of Live (Pl)ants that we found in our san diego summer apartment! Remember? Those were the days =)
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Greg and Becca. Enjoying this, as always.
ReplyDeleteHey, Greg's dirty comment to Maru just reminded me of a f'ing great movie from Ecuador that, if you can stomach it, you should see. It's called "Crónicas," and the director is giiiifted, but twiiiisted. Ever seen that Spanish flick 'Tésis'? Creepy like that but oh so much more frightening. Still, it's Ecuadorian, and it's really really good.